Imagine this scenario. You are in the middle of the woods and far from civilization. You have walked many a mile through Mother Nature and basked in all her glory when she suddenly “comes calling”. Do not panic in this situation. The best thing to do is realize that your are about to take part in a ritual that your ancestors welcomed with open arms, or should I say open legs. Act not as a caveman when this event strikes you, but rather a sophisticated waste disposer by following a few simple guide-lines. The following steps to relieving yourself outside will let you enjoy in a peaceful experience, while also giving you confidence that you have given back to the earth in a naturalistic, humane, and environmental conscious demeanor.
The first step in nature “pooing” is to figure out what materials will be your toilet paper. Sure there is organic toilet paper but know that sticks and leaves are at your disposal as well. Secondly, If traveling in a group, let others know that you are leaving them to bask in heaven’s glory. Or just tell them you have to go poop in the woods and they’ll know that you are missing for a just cause. The third step is to venture away from your camp at least 100 feet so that you are not in sight, but you are within yelling distance. This also minimizes the probability of someone walking into your work of art. Also make sure you are approximately 200 feet away from a water source so you don’t contaminate it.
The fourth step involves digging a six inch hole that is wide enough to handle your “you know what”. Make sure the hole is no deeper than six inches because the bacteria that will decompose the waste only live within that soil horizon. Digging can be done by hand, stick, or a convenient shovel of any kind just understand that you must cover your hole back up when you are finished. All preparation is cleared at this point and what is needed now is some poo to fill your hole.
Clean yourself with paper, stick, or leaf to your satisfaction and throw these useful tools into the hole. Now you must cover your waste up with the dirt you cleared out of the hole so that some poor sole does not step on your organic claymore. At camp clean your hands with hand sanitizer and/or through running water to remove any possible biological contaminates. At this point you should feel accomplished, as you have successfully fulfilled all requirements to pooping in nature with etiquette.
Some factors to include in one’s experience are to examine the stick or leaves used in cleaning yourself. Stay away from Poison Ivy and Poison Oak as they will both leave you itching your head as to why you thought you could possibly enjoy a nature poop. Some animals are attracted to the odor so always be wary of wild life in the surrounding area. These elements are natural to the outdoors, so have no fear next time you want poop in the woods and remember this short list for environmentally conscious defecation.